Get Your Hands Off Me

Six months ago, I was tasked with creating an introductory post for a blog I would run. Six months ago, coincidentally, was also the beginning of 2010, so I thought it would be cute to create a nice, timely post looking back at 2009. It was at that point that the entire blog project was indefinitely delayed. UNTIL NOW. I considered tossing this post out and starting over, but I realized that would be wasteful, a quality that I simply don't possess (which explains the massive amount of whalebone jewelry I own). So, now that you have managed to banish 2009 completely from your mind, it's time to open your heart and let it back in. Please, show this old post the respect it deserves:

I like to think my time is valuable, which is why I spend the majority of my conscious, non-working hours listening to music, playing video games and watching TV and movies. In between these activities, I read about these activities on the Internet. While people such as my father and the rest of productive society might frown on this behavior, I feel like I'm getting my money's worth out of my time, as I waste it wisely. Several hours spent on a bad video game? That's just plain irresponsible. Several hours spent on a great one? Unproductiveness has never felt so fruitful. Throw in some good music and possibly a worthwhile movie and you have an entertainment regimen worth sitting for.

Seeing as we've now made it out of 2009's death grip, I thought it might be a good idea to highlight one of the year's most defining musical trends. By my estimation, music from 2009 will be remembered for one thing and one thing only: musicians' love of touching their faces. Album art featuring the undeniable bond between artists' faces and their hands was everywhere in 2009.

Take Scottish singer, inspiration and worldwide email forward star, Susan Boyle, for example. Prior to her debut album I Dreamed a Dream, everyone knew Boyle's face, but we didn't know her hands. Now we know both, and what a combo it is. Personally, I've long wondered what Susan Boyle would look like if I took her to the local children's photo studio for a session. You could say that I dreamed a dream, and Susan made it a reality:

Susan Boyle wasn't the only reality show contestant that loved touching her face in 2009. American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert has never been one to disappoint our expectations, and so it was no surprise when he released For Your Entertainment with the glove-to-face glamour shot everyone knew was coming. The album art seems to indicated Lambert's cosmic crisis, or at the very least, cosmic migraine:

Rihanna had a turbulent 2009, but her choice to follow the supreme hands-to-face movement for her Rated R cover brought the R&B world to its knees. The art may only show half of Rihanna's visage, but the album, I imagine, shows that she's still all girl. 

No one can say for sure what musical trends 2010 will bring, but I can say for certain that the year will demand that at least three artists wash their faces-- who knows where those hands have been.

Posted by Meredith Boone